Do you ever feel like you make too many compromises for people? Perhaps you’re scared that people will regard you as unkind or impolite if you say no. Or maybe, you don’t want them to perceive you as “difficult” or “high-maintenance.” Letting people down is just not in your DNA.
Unfortunately, putting others’ needs first can quickly take a toll on your mental well-being. Your crowd-pleasing habits means you’re always neglecting yourself. In the long-term, this can lead to a deep resentment for people and your surroundings. This is why you should learn to set healthy boundaries in all of your relationships. Read on to learn how to do this.
Importance of Setting Boundaries
Are you feeling guilty about the thought of setting boundaries? Well, you shouldn’t. These boundaries don’t just benefit you. They’re also good for the people around you. Your friends and family members will understand what your limits are.
Staying within those limits will culminate in healthy interactions founded on respect and love. However, if you never communicate these boundaries, they will always cross the line because they don’t even know that one exists.
Tips to Set Boundaries
Visualize and Label Your Limits
The first thing you need to do is identify your limits. For some, boundaries might be baffling because they exist as abstract ideas.
This is why it’s important to visualize and jot down these boundaries. It brings the seemingly invisible ideas to life. So consider sparing time to reflect about different aspects in your life. Ask yourself:
- What are some of the things that trigger stress or make you feel uncomfortable?
- What parts of my day do I look forward to?
- What/ who makes me feel exhausted?
- What/ who makes me feel supported, appreciated or safe?
Answering these questions guide you on the limits you need to establish. For instance, if your parents are always speaking negatively about your partner, you’ll want to address the issue head on.
Communicate Your Boundaries
Step one helped you identify the boundaries you’d like to establish. So, the next step is to communicate them to relevant parties.
Don’t make the assumption that your friends or family members already know these limits. You need to communicate openly with them so that they understand where the line is.
And while you’re at it, don’t try to sugarcoat or downplay your rules. State them clearly, politely and be sure to provide clarification where necessary. “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:37)
Here are a few ways of expressing boundaries:
“I would appreciate it if you didn’t speak about my family in this light.”
“I understand that we view things differently and I value your opinion, but I’m not willing to compromise on ABC.”
“Kindly ask for permission before using my [material thing]”
“I don’t find those comments you make about XYZ funny.”
Make Time for Yourself
We live in such a fast-paced world that it’s easy to prioritize the needs of everyone else and forget about your own. However, it’s important to take care of yourself first. This way, you have enough energy to fend for everyone else.
Besides, studies have shown numerous perks of self-care that include improved productivity levels, confidence booster and increased feelings of happiness.
Conclusion
Establishing boundaries in life is necessary to protect your mental well-being. Although it might seem daunting, it helps to promote healthy relationships with those around you. Plus, it eliminates burnout and unnecessary exhaustion.
